Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group. –Tony Robbins
To achieve whatever we’re after, we’re going to have to be constantly engaged in the pursuit of our chosen goal. That means we’ll need to be accountable to someone other than ourselves.
How do we achieve accountability and who do we choose to be accountable to? Just remember OQP… Only Quality People. If you’re going to get out of that rut and on to the road to your highest possible good, then it’s going to be because you stopped associating with people who drag you down.
Not Unless…
Unless you stop spreading gossip and getting excited when you hear gossip, you’re going to remain stuck in your present state of development.
Unless you quit hanging out with people who regularly dump garbage into their bodies, you’re not going to lose the weight and build the muscle and the core strength you desire.
Unless you run screaming from people who haven’t read a book in years, you’re not going to be inspired to get better grades.
Actual Actions
If you want to gain real ground, then you will surround yourself with people who expect more from themselves than others expect from them. If you have a lot of friends but none of them match that description, then in my opinion, you don’t actually have any friends… you have acquaintances. Fair weather friends will scatter when trouble arises. Real friends with stand close by you and ask how they can help.
If you don’t have any true friends, then don’t despair. You can make quality friends. However, you’ll first have to realize a basic principle. That is this:
You don’t attract
what you want…
you attract
what you are.
So, to attract the type of people that you want in your life, you’ll first have to act like that type of person. Then, you will see the other, birds of a feather start to flock in. How do you do that? Well, you pick a discipline. Maybe it’s a game or a language or a skill or a business or whatever… you pick something and you excel at it. You eat, sleep and breathe it.
Stubbornness
To master your endeavor, you need stick-to-it-ive-ness. The only way to get that is to be accountable to someone who will keep you honest about your progress. That’s where I come in. My job is to tap into the essence of what you want most. I get a solid understanding of what you’ll need to achieve your goals and I help you stay on task to get you there. Nothing else works.
Without real goal setting, real exercises and targeted tasks, it’s just talk. I don’t do talk… and neither should you. If I don’t actually intend to do a thing, I never talk about it as if I do. My advice is that if you adopt even one idea that I share with you, that’s a damn useful one, right there.
Passing Gas
Many people casually talk about things that they don’t intend to do, because society has taught them that it’s just polite conversation. The problem is that it disperses your energy, wastes it. Only talk about what you are already doing to get better and only talk about it with people who will encourage you and edify you.
I can help you hone in your sights on what you want and how to get there. You’ll want to realize, right up front that without real accountability and regular dedication, it’s just mental masturbation.
It’s really easy to have a single session, get really excited about some breakthrough realizations, see what’s in the astrology, be fascinated by the answers that the tarot cards turn up, learn an emotional skill or two and then… nothing. The hypnosis of life settles in. We fall back into the trance of doing… what we always did before.
Accounting Details
You won’t put out nearly as much on your own as you will if you know that somebody is watching. When you know that you have to show up again in a week or even in a month, there’s a certain amount of “positive pressure”. That pressure that makes us “get shit done”.
If you surround yourself with people who are not trying to be at their best, then they (although they love you and they really mean well) will be invested in keeping you from being at your very best, because they are afraid of losing you, afraid of not being enough themselves… and your new success only reinforces that realization.
Get around people who are demanding more from themselves than anybody is demanding of them. Get around those who are playing at a higher level. It doesn’t matter where you are starting from. Just start.
Every successful company has a board of advisors, as do presidents, kings, people in entertainment or any other area of life. We tend to look at it as “They are successful. They can afford to have counsel”. It’s the other way around. Because they have counsel, they can afford it. You only get what you insist on. Insist on more.
An Empire of One
Treat your life like it is a nation of people. No entire population would ever submit to the rule of a king who had no advisors. Yet, we’re taught to do it all by ourselves with no outside counsel. Bad idea.
Build your own “team”. Get yourself someone who can give you valuable outside perspective, skills, strategies and insights, someone who won’t just tell you what you want to hear. Friends will tell you “it ain’t so bad”, “you’re fine”, “you don’t need to change anything”, “you’re perfect just the way you are”. That will *feel* reassuring… for about five minutes.
Then, you’ll remember the pain, the anxiety, the bitterness about that situation you’ve been feeling trapped in. You know that it must change. You’re probably not going to do it alone. Don’t get me wrong, you totally have the ability to do it and to do it all by yourself.
Help!
Ask yourself this question: “How long to I want to take to figure this out?”. How long do you want to do it the hard way? How long do you want to do it all by yourself? Isolation and frustration is a poor strategy. Get help!
Each of us will struggle with a problem and act out in less than healthy ways, until we’ve “had enough”. When you hit that point, you’re almost ready to change. Almost? Yep. The next step is swallowing your pride and admitting that you’ve wasted a ton of time, energy, money and heartache, attacking the problem in exactly the wrong way. We all screw up.
We all screw up really bad at some point. Learn from it. Move forward. You are not your action. You are a Spirit, capable of action.
Mistakes are Building Blocks
When you have that attitude of facing each and every mistake, however painful, embarrassing, expensive or humiliating… looking them in the eye and announcing your imminent victory, then you are ready.
It takes moxy to “call the shot”, because there is a chance of failure. But if you don’t call the shot, then you’re less likely to even take the shot. If you don’t even take the shot, then there is a 100% guarantee of failure.
I do enjoy reading your blogs. You have a good sense of drawing the reader in, at least from my perspective. I felt like you were actually talking about me.
Thank you! 🙂