How to Deal With Gaslighting & Smear Campaigns From Narcissists
If you’ve ever been gaslighted or been the victim of a smear campaign, then this might help. If someone is going way out of their way to contact people they don’t even know in order to spread rumors about you or whatever the tactics are… first, stay calm. That person cannot keep their facade up for more than about 3-9 months, tops.
The whirlpool in their head of self-loathing and bitter hatred of themselves and everything around them will cause them to act out in terrible ways, soon enough. When they do, all the people who are currently believing their lies will begin to see it for themselves. Those people may never come back to you and say “Oh, I was wrong for believing them and I’m sorry” but that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you will have kept your own shit together in the meantime. You keep doing the right thing and wait for the storm to pass. All storms pass.
Something you can do immediately is that you can take accountability for anything that you *did* do wrong. You’re not totally blameless in the situation. Even if the narcissist did two dozen awful things that were just totally unacceptable, you are human and it’s almost certain that you were pushed to the point that you reacted badly to at least one of these behaviors and you did something almost as bad, just trying to defend yourself from all the crazy.
While you don’t have to beat yourself up over it, you should take accountability for whatever part was your own. Ask yourself why it happened, what did you learn and how can you handle it better if something like this comes up again in the future?
Most importantly, how can you stop allowing people like this to slip through your radar system, undetected until it’s too late? The answer is simple… vetting. Don’t rush into relationships with anyone. Get to know them over extended periods of time and stop ignoring the red flags.
Gaslighting: This is a video from The Little Shaman.
Smear Campaigns: This is a video from The Little Shaman. The audio track in the background is a little distracting but the video is well worth going through the whole thing.