Sucking it up.

Most people’s lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group. –Tony Robbins

I’ve done dozens of introductory Conjure Coaching sessions with people lately and at least 8 out of every 10 have either said they found it really useful or they have even made a public testimonial or else they referred a friend to me. This is really great and I’m thankful to all of you, it’s been a very powerful experience to get to know each person.

While everyone has said how great it is, the people who are getting the absolute best results are the ones who work with me regularly. They are the ones who are making the most remarkable shifts in their lives. Why? Accountability is the key.

It’s really easy to have a single session, get really excited about some breakthrough realizations, see what’s in the astrology, be fascinated by the answers that the tarot cards turn up, learn an emotional skill or two and then… nothing. The hypnosis of life settles in. We fall back into the trance of doing… what we always did before.

You won’t put out nearly as much on your own as you will if you know that somebody is watching. When you know that you have to show up again in a week or even in a month, there’s a certain amount of “positive pressure”. That pressure that makes us “get shit done”.

If you surround yourself with people who are not trying to be at their best, then they (although they love you and they really mean well) will be invested in keeping you from being at your very best, because they are afraid of losing you, afraid of not being enough themselves… and your new success only reinforces that realization.

Get around people who are demanding more from themselves than anybody is demanding of them. Get around those who are playing at a higher level. It doesn’t matter where you are starting from. Just start.

Every successful company has a board of advisors, as do presidents, kings, people in entertainment or any other area of life. We tend to look at it as “They are successful. They can afford to have counsel”. It’s the other way around. Because they have counsel, they can afford it. You only get what you insist on. Insist on more. Treat your life like it is a nation of people. No entire population would ever submit to the rule of a king who had no advisors. Yet, we’re taught to do it all by ourselves with no outside counsel. Bad idea.

Build your own “team”. Get yourself someone who can give you valuable outside perspective, skills, strategies and insights, someone who won’t just tell you what you want to hear. Friends will tell you “it ain’t so bad”, “you’re fine”, “you don’t need to change anything”, “you’re perfect just the way you are”. That will *feel* reassuring… for about five minutes.

Then, you’ll remember the pain, the anxiety, the bitterness about that situation you’ve been feeling trapped in. You know that it MUST change. You’re probably not going to do it alone. Don’t get me wrong, you *totally* have the ability to do it and to do it all by yourself. But ask yourself this question: “How long to I want to take to figure this out?”. Do you want to do it the hard way? All by yourself? I didn’t think so. Isolation and frustration is a poor strategy.

Each of us will struggle with a problem and act out in less than healthy ways, until we’ve “had enough”. When you hit that point, you’re almost ready to change. Almost? Yep. The next step is swallowing your pride and admitting that you’ve wasted a ton of time, energy, money and heartache, attacking the problem in exactly the wrong way. We all screw up. We all screw up really bad at some point. Learn from it. Move forward. You are not your action. You are a Spirit, capable of action.

When you have that attitude of facing each and every mistake, however painful, embarrassing, expensive or humiliating… looking them in the eye and announcing your imminent victory, then you are ready. It takes moxy to “call the shot”, because there is a chance of failure. But if you don’t call the shot, then you’re less likely to even take the shot. If you don’t even take the shot, then there is a 100% guarantee of failure.

Your additional words of wisdom, here: